Competition!
by Awesome Anonymous
Summary: To her knowledge, Tali had everything over Miranda — well, besides her endowments. So, the quarian tries to improvise. Shepard/Tali


_What? __This isn't really happening, is it?_

_And I got this from a **song**?_

_[Brace yourself.]_

_Words — 850 or so_

_Pair(s) — Tali/Shepard [and whatever you make up.]_

_Rating — M. Reason: what do you think?_

* * *

><p>The face-off.<p>

Miranda put her hand on her curvy hip. "_Tali._"

The quarian folded her arms at the smug tone. "Miranda."

Then Miranda glared.

_Whore._

And Tali glared.

_Bitch._

"Going down?" the officer asked tauntingly.

Tali smirked to herself.

"No, I'm going _up_."

Miranda gasped silently — _they were on the second deck!_

Speaking of going to the commander's cabin, Shepard caught the elevator before the doors closed. He stood in between the two females and nodded at both of them.

"Miranda. Tali."

Simple, right?

Not even close.

The women knew when the commander looked at them he separated all of their great features.

Hips: check.

Ass: _oh_, check!

Shepard leaned backwards a little when he gave his quarian teammate a slow once-over.

Chest?

Tali almost fell to the ground when Shepard did a double take towards Miranda when she folded her arms, tightly - _propping her boobs!_

Not fair!

Miranda presented an arrogant look at Tali when the commander pressed Deck 3.

Tali made fists and shook violently as she saw Shepard follow Miranda out of the elevator like a leased dog with heart-shaped eyes.

Uncool!

She was getting tired of Miranda getting preferential treatment just because she was well-endowed. Everyone she spoke to gave her better attitudes, jaw-dropping gawks, and more satisfied answers. Tali couldn't get anything with her ass to save her life!

"Kenneth, were you able to check and see if the couplings were adjusting correctly?"

"No," he said lazily. "I'll get to it, Tali, don't worry."

She put her hands on her hip, fuming — he said that last week!

Gabriella furrowed her brow. "Don't be so lazy!"

He scoffed. "You two—"

"Donnelly?"

Miranda frowned at the underling. "For precautions, I need you to check the FBA couplings as soon as—"

"Of course, Ms. Lawson!"

He said it staring at her chest.

"Ow!" Tali shrieked when Zaeed bumped into her.

"Get out of the damn way."

"Oh!"

Miranda pressed her hands on her collarbone to ease the pain from the collision of the metal.

The mercenary smirked at flesh shaking like Jell-O.

"Miranda," he said aloofly.

What? No evil comeback?

This whole _Giving Miranda More Respect than Females with Small Breasts_ rule was ludicrous! Tali refused to let this go on! She demanded and deserved more attention—um, respect! But she didn't know what to do.

Then it hit her.

Hurray for infomercials!

"Kenneth, can you please check the couplings?"

He didn't look up. "Yeah, no problem."

Tali frowned. "_Now._"

He rolled his eyes. "Don't worry, I'll get to...it."

His eyes widened at the once flat-chested nobody.

Not anymore, though — Tali was sporting double D's!

"N-now," he said with his eyes down. "I'll check them now."

She smiled. Eureka!

Let the _respect_ begin.

"Zaeed!" she whined from him shoving her out of the way.

"Shut your damn mouth, you flat-chested—"

His eyes widened and he stayed quiet.

Yes! Saved from a terrible slur!

The result of her new _accessories_?

She overheard Joker say she had a nice rack!

Garrus stopped calibrating for over a minute!

Miranda was at a loss for words!

"Deck four?" she said evilly.

"No, I'm going _**up**_."

Miranda chuckled and looked at her with narrowed eyes — that shot open.

"H-how...!"

Tali smiled evilly.

_ZING!_

Just then, Shepard rushed in and gave both of the women nods.

"Miranda. Ta...Tali?"

Hips: check.

Big ass: check.

Tig ol' bitties: _check_, _check_, _**CHECK!**_

Tali began sweating at him staring so hard. YES!

"Do you want to join me in my cabin?" he asked automatically.

She nodded. "Sure."

He smirked wide and Miranda smacked her forehead. She was ruined!

And there Tali was — in his freezing cabin. A week from today was terrible, but now?

Miranda: zero — Tali: one thousand.

Game over.

Shepard unmistakably chucked a pen across the table for it to land on the floor. Tali looked at him and he, for the first time since they got up there, looked her in the face.

"Can you pass me that?" he asked in a monotone.

She nodded and bent over to get it. His head tilted with her body and pondered...

When did she get those?

They were amazing.

They looked as soft as feather pillows!

_Motorboat._

_Motorboat._

_Motorboat._

_**Brrrrrr.**_

Then, he squinted at...something. Was something wrong with his eyes?

What the hell?

Please let something be wrong with his eyes!

Tali finally got the pen and exhaled as she sat up. "Here."

She cocked her eyebrow when he was giving her an annoyed look. Where was the glorious look? Where was his gratefulness of her presence? She wanted that attention—respect! Then she saw Shepard slowly look down at her chest with a deadpan expression, and she did too.

Her left boob was at her bellybutton.

Shepard sighed when she ran to the bathroom from embarrassment. Damn!

Fake. Ol'. Bitties.

Tali exited the restroom and saw the commander standing outside waiting for her. She looked down and sighed.

"I'm sorry, Shepard."

He glanced down at her chest and shrugged. "You look perfectly fine."

She beamed and instantly hugged him tightly. She loved him!

Shepard held his breath and smiled drunkenly with a couple of hardness poking him.

He loved nipples!

* * *

><p><em>Yay! BOOBIES! :D<em>

_Motorboating? Loves nipples?_

_[Shepard, why?]_

_Thanks for reading :]_

_[Tell me what you think! And all that good jazz~]_


End file.
